I have to express myself, by using another person's words to speak for my life...Here! This is what I want to say to my ex who continues to write me, telling me he misses me and such. Except, it turns out, I am stronger and I'm not going to get hurt by him again.

one hard week

This week was the loneliest one I've had since I moved here, the only human interaction I got was from a sells person, and the staff here, I got very few phone calls from non-family and during this already hard week, Erick contacted me wanting me back. I was honest in telling him I did not want him back and didn't want to talk to him but as the loneliness set in and the week continued on I missed being wanted, not by him but in general. I love my apartment, I love that every aspect of it is mine, the decor, scent, cleanliness, everything it mine, I love this freedom. That said, it's lonely sometimes. My friends are busy with work and school, my family isn't all that close and I don't have a car here yet so I'm stuck a lot of the time to my own thoughts. During a lonely week where my ex has contacted me, that is the last thing I want to be alone with.

Since the break up in June I had maybe cry in pain once, this week was like a mini roller coaster of sadness all over again. I loved him but not more then I love myself, and that is who I was losing over the time of our relationship. I cried nearly daily and was always stress. Now, I've cried three times this week and have seen how lonely I really am, it sucks.