Can't Sleep

Life really hasn't been all roses lately...in fact a lot of things have flat out sucked. I've never felt so poor in my life, I don't have enough in my bank account for two more months of rent and with no job that's a big problem and stresser! I didn't get hired for even the simplest jobs that I could do in my sleep. I have TWO freakin' degrees and can't get hired anywhere...it's pretty disheartening.

I've have been dating again and it's made me sad in a way, I'll explain. I haven't felt chemistry with any other guy. I've met nice guys but no sparks; with my ex the sparks were nearly instant and since I have very limited dating experience I don't know how long or even if sparks happen often. I find myself torn, I do like this guy I've been dating lately, he and I have literally talked until the sun came up, just talking...it's pretty great. But like I said, no spark. So this has been a small stress but money is my BIG one.

Now, I'm awake at 1:30 in the am...ME! I love my sleep, I'm so good at it usually but my mind refuses to stop pacing and so here I am...trying to keep up so I can let my thoughts go free on through my hands...I sound a little crazy.

I miss my dog so much, I was talking about Allan the other day and then going through looking at my pictures of him. I love my baby so much and I hate that he doesn't lay next to me cuddled by my side anymore. I was thinking (instead of sleeping) of how much I want to visit San Antonio and mostly my baby! He would hate it in my little apartment but selfishly, at times like this especially, I wish he was here.

Well My eyes are starting to feel heavy so I'm gonna try to go to sleep again. Wish me luck (though I don't believe in luck) Good Night.