Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming...

I'm working on what I know is an uphill battle and itself 100% internal. As much as I'd love to displace my blame the bottom line is I am the one facing my depression and anxieties head-on and it would do no good to blame anyone. I wake-up and have to just jump into the day otherwise I sink so easily. It now takes quite a bit to make me happy when I used smile and laugh all the time...I think. I honestly don't fully remember pre-depression me, my whole world is gray and black, nothing is wonderfully exciting but some things are terrible and bring thoughts of less pleasant things into my head.

I'm starting my counseling very soon and I'm hopeful. I want to be capable of true happiness again, I don't think I am or have been in years and if so I don't remember what it feels like. I have the goals of what I want out of my sessions in mind, I'm hoping I can be me again.